literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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