Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
worst night to have a conscience
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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