I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
