Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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