ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
