watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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