remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
