You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
