i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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