u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think my moral compass just broke
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
