she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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