Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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