Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
