I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
