I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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