I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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