Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
