You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
