i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
