My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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