Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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