Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
