We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
