you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
