so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
