I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
