11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
honey bunches of taint.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
