I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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