he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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