either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Randomize
