just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
