I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
