Too much gin, very little bucket
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
