is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
