My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
