he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
