yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
