We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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