you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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