I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
