Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she smelled like a LAN party
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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