from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
