Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
