I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
