Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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