During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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