you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
