Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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