i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
