Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
