Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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