Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
