I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
