im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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