why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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